How do you know when you are in love? What is love anyway? No doubt countless theologians, writers, romantics, and perhaps even psychologists have lent their voices and expertise to the concept of love. Having a yearly celebration of the St. Valentine’s Day Holiday causes the arrows of Cupid to remain fresh within the minds of many throughout the entire year. But before determining how an individual can know when he or she is in love, it is first necessary to define the word “love”.

      Simply stated, “love” has been defined as the “intense affections” one has for another; with the definition of ‘affection’ being recorded as ‘a fond or tender feeling.’ Whereas many in our society have innocently complicated the concept of love, Noah Webster in his lexicography has simplified love’s concept into one phrase: “tender feelings”! Ah, at last a term in which we all can comprehend, male and female alike. As a characteristic of the heart, tenderness (love) is the vehicle by which the sentiments (opinions) of the heart are conveyed. Fortunately, opinions of the heart have been pre-programmed with sentiments of truth, honesty, integrity, patience, kindness, compassion, strength, and generosity. Hence goes the saying: ‘always follow your heart and never your mind.’ Choosing love and making it ‘The Way of Life’ brings assurance, warmth with a smile, and an intensity of tenderness equivalent to that of a flame!

      Oftentimes we hear the words “I love you” used very loosely, thereby distorting the real meaning of love. If our ‘actions of affection’ do not follow the intensity of the feeling, then of a surety it is not love! So before we answer the question: What is love, let us first continue to expound on what love is not! Love is not an intellectual thought that can be learned on the campuses of our universities, nor is it a feeling motivated by a single anatomical part of the human body. Love is not a partnership that has been reduced to a legal agreement to give 50% of your life to someone who will in return give 50% of his or her life to you. Love is not the storing up of names with numbers in a little black book for the express purpose of a midnight emergency roll call, neither is it based upon usury, personal gain, or complacency. Love makes no promises in which it has no intentions of keeping!

      Now, we can clearly understand how love has indeed been misrepresented, misinterpreted, and misunderstood! In a microwave society with “romance always on the go” it is evident that we have settled for “dried up nooked affection!” There has been little time for properly prepared “juicy oven roasted romance and affection.” And although microwave romance robs us everyday of vital cultivating nutrients, still we have not been willing to take out the time to consider and prepare all of the ingredients necessary for a slow oven roasted romance. As previously stated, when love has been chosen we find fondness with the intensity of a flame!

      At last, we are now ready to comprehend what Love is! Love is a “passion of fire” that encompasses every fiber of our being! It is ‘power,’ the power of a flame, the power of heat, arousal, and enthusiasm. Love is the power of adoration! It is a drawing force that activates the body, charms the soul, and regenerates the spirit. Tenderness and warmth with desire are actions of affection which are what’s left behind when one encounters a moment with love and passion.

Therefore, love is a passion for everything delicate, everything gentle, and everything sweet; a passion for healing words, an open mind, a helping hand, and a forgiving heart; a passion for understanding, caring, and sharing.

      Love is the fire that can build bridges, dissolve walls, destroy hate, and diffuse anger. It is commitment, faithfulness, and righteousness! Love has no fear, but is sound and has authority. It is the fire that stirs us to ‘acts of kindness,’ and is the fire which compels us to ‘rescue lives’ without considering the danger of our own. Love is the fire by which we are motivated to ‘accomplish extraordinary things’ although odds are against us. It says that ’we can make it’! When faced with adversity, love ‘goes the extra mile.’ It believes no evil against anyone. It nurtures and restores; hopes and has faith. Love makes promises and keeps them, has peace and abides in unity; dwells in safety and is secure in its own ways. Love changes not its characteristics and gives of itself 100%!

       So the big question, how do you know when you’re in love? Good question, I’m glad you asked! Ever hear these words, “people fall in and out of love all the time?” Well, I am convinced that this is absolutely impossible! It is my understanding that if we have fallen out of love, then we were never truly in love to begin with. If we hold true to ‘what love is’ then we have to understand that love abides forever! Remember it is an innate fire, pre-programmed in our hearts by God whose flames will continue to burn so long as we choose to let it.

      Finally, what we all have been waiting for. Here is a simple two-part test to determine whether or not you are in love. First, does the person in question set you on fire body, soul, and spirit? Can you barely contain yourself whenever they walk into a room? Are you moved by an unquenchable fire not regulated by things he or she does or does not do? Does your passion for him or her encompass every fiber of your being and is it solely based upon their personality and inner characteristics? Are you willing to commit to and be faithful to this individual and to walk rightly with him or her? Second, based upon your own personality, determine in your thoughts what, if committed by this individual, would be the greatest hurt that he or she could ever inflict upon you. Now ask yourself could I, would I forgive them? If you answer yes (even though it would take a process and you still would experience hurt) and you are still moved with an unquenchable fire that is based solely upon the characteristics of that individual’s heart and not upon the sins they may have or will fall privy to in the future; then congratulations, you have determined that your love abides forever and you are definitely “In Love!”

      You have had a true encounter with God and have come to understand that the power of love is greater than the shame of sin! You have chosen to forgive, to keep your vow/promise, and to go the extra mile!